Father, Daughter, Lover, Brother
by Jlynnxoh
Summary: All through her life she loved her family and friends, but one night might change it all.
1. TLL

**I DO NOT OWN NEWSIES.**

**Hey guys! I wrote this awhile back and I figured some people had a little interest and I am going to fix it up and bring it back to life. I am not what-so-ever a great writer but maybe this story will interest some of you, so here goes nothing enjoy (:**

Chapter One – TLL

Trapped. It's not a situation to be in. Although, people find all fun and games in it. To them they can think of it as a stratagem or trick for catching peoples unawareness. As if their already sickly minded bodies can get more pleasure from peoples pain and displeasure. This all explained Timothy McClare.

Losing. It's not the way one should feel. People can get depressed and shut down. All from suffering one single pain, that causes them to be a roller coaster of emotions. Taken away from the ones they love and know, grew and learned, and respected. This all explained Paige McClare.

Lost. So many meanings; so many explanations. All lost to ones they know and never to be seen again. Distracted; distraught; desperate; hopeless. Not used to good purposes; wasted. Too bad this explained both father and daughter.

_**Sorry really short, I have this idea in my head and it was hard to put in words at first. Hoped you like and the review button is at the bottom- appreciate!**_


	2. Welcome Paige

Still Don't Own the Newsies

**Still Don't Own the Newsies.**

Chapter Two – Welcome Paige

_Hard_ _surface. Cold. Bright Light. Momma? I wanna go home_! All thoughts of 8 year old Paige went spinning in her head. _Fire. Pappa? Momma! _The building was quite large and scared the little girl. She could only remember last night, or so what she thought was last night…

"_Paige darling can you set the table?" asked a pretty blonde. Her apron was stained and she had the brightest green eyes._

"_Yes Momma, what are we having?" replied a young girl looking just like her mother, except her eyes has a mix of blue in with them._

"_Well your father was supposed to be home, but I guess me and you will have some beef stew"_

"_Is he coming home? And I don't like that." Paige replied while she made a face at her mom. She was setting the small table for dinner and unsure if she should put another bowl down for her father. _

"_Well I do hope so, and don't make that face young lady you know better!" her mother said with a stern look. After awhile the two ate and soon cleaned up the kitchen and Mrs. McClare sent Paige to bed with a kiss._

"_DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!" With a sudden scare the little blonde girl woke up. Next thing she knew her father had her ripped out of bed and was sending her the most hateful expression she had ever seen._

"_Get up you little runt and say goodbye to your mother!" Her father said this while he pushed her out her bedroom door. He continued to drag her through their small apartment until he reached the kitchen._

"_Momma!" "Paige!" Both girls screamed for each other. Her momma was sitting down, why wouldn't she get up and help her? She wanted her mommy desperately..._

She couldn't remember much after that just pain from hitting the floor and yelling and flames and smoke from the kitchen. _Fire_. It scared her. Her mother always said don't be afraid. Her description made it seem like a fantasy, like as brilliant as a gem. But her father used it as a means of torture and hatred.

Hatred. Oh how she loved to be smart at 8. She knew her parents hated each other and possibly her father hated her too. Hate. _Dislike_. Yes, she disliked her father. _No_. Hated with a passion. _Run_. Get out. _Leave_. No more pain then.

The little girl looked around the room. Doors? Windows? _Yes. _To her left was a wooden door, and she ran. Bright light. _Sun_. Oh how she loved to finally be outside again. Paige didn't need to think much to know she had to run, and run fast. She turned down an alley that led to a main road. _Busy. _She realized she was safe for now. She was so tiny she would be able to hide inside the huge crowd of people. She spent the whole day walking, running, anything to get away from the building she woke up in. What a mess she must have been...people kept staring at her or on occasion glaring. _Dirty. _She knew her hair must have been a hideous sight and her clothes were covered in dirt and blood. _Pain_. She still felt it, but physical. Arms. Legs. _Burned? Cut?_ She wanted to cry; for momma and herself. Her father, _pappa_, was not something she should cry about. He caused all this pain but, she would not be a weak little girl that he thought she was. She was strong like her momma always said and would find a safe place to go to, maybe. It was dark and she was a little afraid now. _Night_. Paige had no where to go, lost. She felt like a helpless little girl. No. She wouldn't be anything her father called her. She would find a place to sleep for the night. _Alley_. There was a building there and it suddenly seemed quite comfy.

* * *

"What the heck? Shark!" screamed a boy. He was shorter than most his age and seemed quite upset over this sight next to their lodging house.

"Spot, what in da world are ya yellin' for?" Answered this Shark character. He was much older, around 16, and did not look happy at one of his boys screaming to him in the morning.

"There's this girl sleepin on our buildin'!" he exclaimed with a glare.

"All right all right, let me see." Here was a little child asleep; dirtied and bloodied and all wrapped in a ball. "Hmm, well let's take 'er in. She ain't in no shape to be out 'ere."

"She's a girlllll" whined Spot. "We don't need 'er roamin around!"

"I'm leader and I says she stays. Now move! She needs some help."

Paige woke up from yelling. Lots. _Oww. _Her head hurt. Warmth? _Blanket. _In sudden panic she sat up and screamed. Well now she's definitely scared. There's about 20 or so boys looking at her. Some looked curious while other just outright glared. They all had this roughness to them and she wanted to leave right now.

"Well what's ya name doll?" Suddenly asked this boy. He was tall and seemed to be the only one willing to ask her a question.

"I'm not allowed to talk to strangers." Was her answer.

"Ya just did smart one!" said a boy around her age, but he did not seem friendly either. He just looked funny because he was tiny like her too.

"Spot, shut up. Now I know ya must be a little scared, but yer at the Lodgin' House. Ok?"

"I wanna go home" Well now it's just hard. _Pain._ Crying, she didn't want to, the tears just came.

"Alright, I'll get chyou there. Now do ya know where ya live?" He seemed nice enough but she couldn't go home, was there even home left?

"No! Pappas mean, he hurt momma and me!" Crying, it's not fun. She just sat there huddled against the wall crying.

"Alright alright, calm down now. How bout ya just get some rest."

"Ok." Laying back down she hid under the blanket. "Uhm, I'm Paige." She said while hiding under the covers.

"Well welcome to da Brooklyn Newsies Paige."


	3. 8 years

Disclaimer- I Do Not Own The Newsies

**Disclaimer- I Do Not Own The Newsies. **

**Hey sorry it took so long. School started and so has dance/cheer. Hopefully this will make up my absence. **

Chapter 3- 8 years

Don't you just love the breeze? Springtime. _Flowers. _I love those, especially roses! Oh yeah, you're probably confused. I'm Paige, and it's been 8 years. I'm kinda old now. _Sixteen. _Well not really, just a teenager. I still live in Brooklyn with the newsies. Only downside is I'm the only girl here. Most of the boys are decent to me. Hence most. _Boys. _No. _Temper. _You don't need an explanation on his name. He is the ugliest, dirtiest, needs to shower, thinks out of his ass, male chauvinist pig that walks the earth! Yes; we hate each other. Hate. Again with that word, it's not something I like to use. Such a strong word, maybe it's not even supposed to be used. _Dislike. _Yes, dislike with a passion is more of a phrase describing our relationship. I still remember the day we met; well actually the day I met everyone…

"_Who's she?" asked a boy around the age of 10. "She's ugly if ya ask me."_

"_Temp knock it off. She's 'ere cause I say so." A little girl was starting to wake up through this and heard the last part. __**Ugly?**__ Blonde hair. Blue no green eyes? __**Home. No, this is not home. **__Looking around she still sees about 20 boys in the room. Some aren't glaring anymore but still look ready to._

"_Ya said yer name is Paige right?" asked a boy, yet she didn't know his yet. With a nod she answers._

"_Alright. Well I'm Shark, and on da top bunk is Spot. Ya need anything just ask for us ok?" Spot? __**Dog. **__That's mean to think. Bringing her out of her revere…_

"_So's why are ya 'ere? No one likes ya." Who is he? Black hair. __**Gross.** She just continued to stare.__ "So's ya don't talk? Haha stupid girl, Ise bettin ya won't last a day." _

"_Shuttup! Shark says she stays so's she 'ere. Now leave or Ise gettin 'im." This boy jumped from the top bunk. __**Spot**__. He seems nice. "Sorry bout 'im. Ise Spot" while he said this he held out his hand. Black. __**Dirt**__. As if reading her mind he replied "Ink."…_

So as you can tell Temper is still not friendly and has a thing against girls. No. Just me. _Weird_. Now, Spot. Basically he became my best friend, if you can even call it that. He's an arrogant, pigheaded, pain in my ass. The best part is he's now the leader of the Brooklyn newsies. Shark left about three years ago and of course the lovely dog became leader. _Dog._ Yeah I tend to call him that, and get away with it. Hmm, it also might be the fact that he has a thing against hitting girls. He is the only one that knows my whole life story. He was actually the only one I talked to when I first came here and he was nice, if you could believe that.

"Whatta ya doin out here this early?" Oh speak of the devil. _Devil_. Funny word; really it is. So many meanings to just one person or thing. One could be very clever, energetic, reckless, or mischievous. Or just call them Satan. _Satan. _Just goes back to devil... Reminds me of the Devils Advocate from church_. Church_. The Roman Catholic Church…

"Ignorin me ain't fun." Oops he was talking to me. Sorry I tend to think more than talk, I'll try and change.

"Oh, sorry I was thinking." Funny how I never grown into an accent either.

"'Bout what?"

"Devils Advocate."

"Uh, ok. Yer one heck of a weird goil Paige." Ha. Of course he wouldn't understand. Hm, I wonder if I play that roll. _Spot._ Devil. _Me._ Advocate. All this goes back to church. I miss those days…

Here I'll share stories with you. My mom was actually my best friend before this. She taught me what I knew for my first 8 years. A pretty blonde with greenish eyes and too skinny for her own good. Every Sunday she'd take me to church and then for breakfast. I remember taking walks in the park with her. Sometimes people would comment on how I looked like her. I wouldn't know though I have no pictures to prove it. Thank my Pappa. _Father. _He took everything away. _Fire._ It's actually intriguing now. I could sit and stare at it for hours. No, I'm not mental or psychotic. _Psychotic. _Leads right back to _him._ It's odd I haven't seen him in eight years. I wonder if he even noticed that I left. That big building, too bright to be a hideout. I now found out that it's in Harlem, although I have yet to tell Spot that. It's a wonder I made it from there to Brooklyn in a day or night. I can't remember. But I do know that McClare is not my last name anymore. Well no one thinks it is beside Spot. I actually just say I don't know my last name. How sad, I can't use it because a family member might try and take me away. _Family. _People connected by blood and soul. Supposed to be dwelling together, but no this family is split apart by the devil. Oh, devil. Hm, explains both Spot and my father but two different meanings. Sad the world revolves like this. At least I can say friends are apart of this world. Manhattan and East Side are in that category. There are actually girls there, and more than one. Oh I can't forget Race. He helps me out a lot if I have girl problems. Haha, that's actually sad but Spot I tell everything to and he just nods and agrees. Huh, best friend alright. I should introduce my girls to you.

Star. She's one heck of a girl. She never really sleeps and stares at the stars a lot. But I love her to death. She and I are the troublemakers in Manhattan. I swear one day the bulls are just going to out right shoot us.

Then there's Melanie. She doesn't have a nickname either. It's ok though, she likes to read and everything but don't call her names about it or you'll have a nice shiner on your face. Tough is something she is and she will stick up for you even if she doesn't know you. Well, at least if she likes you enough. Her and Star are from Manhattan obviously.

East Side has about ten girls but I only talk to Dreamer and Pink. Dreamer daydreams way too much, but she will listen to you and actually understands people. Pink, well likes pink. She's not a blonde or so some say. She's actually quite smart and thirteen. But we still love her and if she ever gets a boyfriend I feel bad for them because well we'll not go there.

"Paige! Are ya getting papes or what?" Wow we're here already? Funny I think I talked too much for now.

"Yeah, 50 papes please." Why is he staring at me like that?

"What are ya tired or somethin?" He asked way too many questions in the morning. "No, just lazy. Why?"

"Ise sellin witcha today." Oh well this is a surprise. "We got problems in some areas."

"This concerns me how?" He wants to sell with me now because of this, but any other time I'm not involved. "It deals wit Harlem."

"What?" He doesn't know anything, but I want details anyways ! "They'se startin fights wit me boys and recruitin to the warehouse. I don't want nobody messin' wit ya." Oh thank god.

"They been asking 'bout ya though and I don't like it, so you ain't leavin' me sight. Understand?" Nevermind.


	4. Stupid Confusion

**Still don't own the Newsies. Sorry it's been like half a year. I got really stuck and then completely forgot. But it's summer and my head is clear!  
**

Chapter 4- Stupid Confusion

Reality hits real hard. Proves a resemblance of what is real. Emotions come at some rapid rate you're not even sure what reality is anymore. _Confusion. _What the heck? I would really like to know how that came about.

"Paige?" Someone said my name? Not really sure. _Pain. _Oh, it hurts real bad. My head or heart? I can't really say at this moment. What if he did come back? _Impossible. _Unable to exist or happen? Surely not…

"PAIGE!" Oh, I should answer. Can I even think straight? Right back to confusion. I feel stuck. Have you ever felt like you're awake but you're stuck in your head and nothing is real? Yeah, welcome to my world at the moment. _Sick. _Not in as in an illness or disease. More like mentally deranged at the moment. Maybe I'm impaired? Huh, what a thought.

"Paige are ya there?" "Hello?" "I think she's out of it." So many voices. Ok, now I'm scared. _Alarming. _Am I terrified? I really can't tell, I keep thinking. Back to being sick. Ok, I can calm down. _Breathe._ Get air in and out… Keep going Paige you can do it. Funny feeling. _Tired. _

* * *

What a head rush. _Wood? _Why am I staring at some ceiling? This is stupid and beyond normal.

"Paige? Ya ok?" Spot. Oh, lodging house. I must have passed out. "Why are ya starin at me like that?"

"Sorry, just a little confused at the moment." Yeah, quite appropriate. I was back at the lodging house and Spot is there with Crook, his second in command. Both are just standing there staring. _Go Away._

"Well ya passed out on us. What's goin on in dat head of yers?" Wouldn't you like to know. I really need to take a walk or something.

"Stuff." Good answer. I tried leaving the bed but Spot just pushed my right back down and glared. Woah, his eyes are like gray when he's mad.

"I don' like liars." Or not. I need to stop thinking about this, I want to leave. Like now.

"Spot honestly nothing. The town just creeped me out a little. Ok? I'm gonna go for a walk." He wished he knew. Once again i tried getting up but this time Crook stood infront of me.

"Harlem? What's up wit Harlem Paige?" I can't tell, I may be sick. I sat back down on the bed, maybe it's time to tell. I need Crook gone though. I just can't tell everyone everything. He can't be back though, right? I mean maybe they are only asking about me because I'm close to Spot? I need air. I need to leave. _Help!_

I stood up again. I need to talk to Mel. She knows some of my story, well only that I ran from my father. But she always listens and the walk to Manhattan is just what I need. Getting up I tried walking around Crook.

"And just where do ya think you're goin?" Oh for the love of a god. Spot moved Crook out of the way and stood two inches away from me, glaring with all his might.

"'Hatten. Is there a problem?" Jeez. Real pain in the ass. I stared right back, making sure I didn't show I was actually about to have a panic attack. Be strong Paige, don't be afraid. Hands on my hips I dared him to deny me rights to walk there.

"Yeah there is. I told ya yer in danger and ya wanna walk 'cross two cities? Is dis ya death wish?" Death wish? Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. If he only knew. In reality though he taught me to fight, and I know for a fact he has birdies following me everywhere I go.

"'Cuse me? Whose Mary and Joseph?" Ha, did I really say that out loud? Laughing is a great feeling. It gets everything out like mirth and pleasure. Even nervousness. _Nerves. _Hopefully he won't catch on. We'll keep to the laughing. I probably look psychotic standing here awkwardly laughing while Crook and Spot stare at me.

"And what's so freakin' funny?" He asks a lot of questions. Ha. He does't look happy though, his eyes are back to that gray color. "I don't tink walkin 'cross two cities and cursin' me is very funny."

"Of course you wouldn't, your ego got the best of you and now you're stone cold." Ok, maybe the wrong thing to say. But he can't keep me here I need out of this place. I need the safe, clean feeling Manhattan has. I need a girl to talk to because god forbid my "best friend" has to listen to me. Trying to walk around him again he shoots a hand out and grabs my shoulder. I get spun around to face him one again.

Giving me this hard look and gripping my shoulder hard he states, "Yeah Paige dat's it. If I'm stone cold, den why am I worryin' bout chyou walkin' at alone? But since ya think that then be me guest an walk out darlin'." Well that's not good. He dropped his hand and backed away giving an arm gesture to let me walk by him.

I couldn't leave though, I stared back at him. I know he really does care but I was confused. To tell him or to keep all this to myself? He used to listen to me when I had nightmares and when I use to cry. Things change though I guess. We got older. He became leader. I became independent. He stays in Brooklyn. I travel between Brooklyn and Manhattan. That feeling of loss was coming over me. Lost.

"Sorry." I really had nothing else to say. I needed my best friend back, but he changed. Giving Crook a stare that said leave, he walked up to me while Crook left the bunkroom.

One hand on my arm and the other holding his cane he said, "Ya should be. Paige yer me best friend. Ya scared me once today an then ya wanna go walkin' out by yaself? Just wait 'til tomorrow an I'll take ya. On our way chyou can tell me 'bout ya issue wit Harlem." Wow I feel bad. He does have feelings, well sometimes, sometimes meaning his boys aren't around. And sadly I can never get mad at him. Ever. He makes me forget about everything sometimes. Oh, like now. Stupid Spot. Stupid Feelings. Stupid Harlem.


	5. Back to Reality

**Ok, well I'm going to continue where I left off four years ago. It may sound different from the first four chapters but I tried my best to get back on track. Let me know how it goes and if I should continue. **

**Still own nothing but my own characters.**

Chapter 5- Back to Reality

Morning came about and I was probably the first to be up. My excitement got me up too early and I couldn't sleep any longer. Today was the day I was going to Manhattan to talk to Mel about Harlem, and also selling there was a lot nicer compared to the angry people of Brooklyn. _Happiness. _It was the one moment I got once in a while and never did I want to let the feeling go. Not saying I'm an unhappy person but living in Brooklyn you can't really have the emotion go around bouncing with every step you take. After using the washroom I realized I couldn't leave without Spot. Oh now to wake the sleepy bum. That should be fun.

Walking up the stairs to his own little space I started hitting his door very obnoxiously. "Spot! Spot get up you promised to take me. Spot!" Pounding on his door was probably a bad idea, oh well he needs to get up anyways. "Spot Conlon get your ass up now!"

"Alright, alright woman I'm up, I'm up, go away." Listening to him grumble around I bounce back and forth ready to take on the day.

"Well hurry I wanna go early so I can see everyone!" I was much too excited for this day to start.

After about five minutes your royal highness finally walked out with a look that might get someone soaked if they looked at him wrong. Big baby, he needs to be up anyways. "Ya know that if ya were anyone else I woulda soaked ya for poundin on me door like dat."

My eyes probably looked like sparkling gems, I was seriously too excited and my face is gonna hurt after all this smiling. "Maybe, but you can't hit a girl. Plus you can't get mad at me!"

"So ya think." He said with a stern look. He really wasn't a morning person today. "Why are ya so desperate to go to 'Hattan today? Gotcha self a boy dat I should know 'bout?"

Walking down the steps to the main bunk I answered, "No! And hey, even if I did why would you care?" Eyebrows raised I dared him to answer right.

"Don't give me dat look goil. Ise king so I gotta know everything whether ya like it or not." His face now dared me to answer him.

Now this is where dear Spots reputation comes in, always arrogant and a stone cold. I hated it sometimes. He always treated me different in front of the boys and other newsies, but when it was just us I got to see the Spot no one knew; a non-caring, somewhat real smiling seventeen year old boy. But no, he has to go all miserable and tough on me. Like a brother. Well I guess he is like a brother, he stuck by my side since him and Shark found me… Oh I should probably catch you up a bit. As you already know I have stayed here and things changed a lot! Spot became leader when we turned 14 because Shark got married to some middle class girl and he moved away to be all grown-up so to speak. _Grown-up. _God did that phrase scare me. I mean I'm sixteen now what will happen when I get too old to be a newsgirl? No, never mind I will tell you about the last eight years. Well since Spot became leader we kinda drifted apart, we used to play games and sell together now he's always "business this, business that" with Jack Kelly. He's a leader too but nothing like my dear Spot. Did I just say my Spot? _Oh god_. No. Sorry sidetracking. Manhattan is really fun I love all the newsies there, but secretly Blink is my favorite. Maybe that has to do with the fact that he's dating Mel but still that doesn't change anything. We always play poker, sorry scratch that, the boys play poker and us girls watch them cheat and be fools, and at least once a month we go to parties at Medda's; she acts like a mother we never had. It's a lot more fun than here in Brooklyn. Don't get me wrong this place is home and I wouldn't trade it for the world but everyone is so serious. Besides Spot I probably really only talk to Crook and Wolf, I mean I talk to everyone but those three are the closest I got to family. As you know Crook is Spots second in command while Wolf is his main "birdie" or spy so to speak. Those three are really scary together, especially if they are mad. _Anger. _Yeah, I get to see that almost everyday. It's really lovely I mean…

"Paige for Christs sake will ya answer me and stop starin' like I have three heads!" Oh here I go again with thinking and ignoring people.

"Uh, sorry what did you ask?" If he was in a bad mood two seconds ago I probably made him worse. God forbid the kid has to repeat anything to anyone.

Continuing to the first floor we left the lodging house.

"Nothin', lets go before I change me mind." Yeah, he's pissed.

* * *

The walk there was interesting to say the least. My excitement got him in a somewhat happy mood, although I got the "Keep it up and I'm throwin' ya ovah dat bridge, Paige" a couple of times. Now he wasn't being serious or anything as you may think so, the boy can be really nice and funny. I actually really enjoy his company when I can I have it. For the past couple month's things have gotten serious, although I haven't the slightest idea what since little miss Paige can't know anything. He won't tell me and he even tells the boys they can't tell me! Or he will act like he doesn't even know anything. He takes me for stupid but I am not. _Secrets. _One of the few things that bothers me. I hated being in the dark. Not the actual night-time dark, but the- I don't know what everyone else around me knows type of dark. Secrets are another memory to the past. No. I do not like this at all. I will find out either Spot will tell me or Melanie will! All I know is Harlem.

"Hey Spot I have a question for you." Looking at him I try my hardest to look innocent.

He always gives me this stupid one eye browed look when I ask him something. "Yeah, go for it."

"Uhm, well it's about…you guys keep like…" Maybe I am stupid around him… All he does is swing his cane and keep walking, not even glancing at me more than once. Ugh.

"Spit it out Paige, yer makin' no sense." Finally looking at me again he gives me a stare as if I'm stupid. I am not stupid! I'm getting angry again.

"You are keeping secrets from me!" Jerk better answer me. I need to know, although I'm being risky considering I'm keeping a secret too.

There we go with that look again. Sometimes I want to hit him really hard. Stopping mid walk and turning to stand right in front of me he says, "No I ain't. Why ya sayin that?"

"The boys won't answer anything I ask of them and Wolf said you gave orders to keep silent around me! You are always gone and more pissed off, if that's even possible. Now tell me what is going on right now!"

After staring at me for a second Spot started pacing back and forth all the while muttering, "He told ya what? Dat's it, he's gettin' a beatin..openin 'is mouth round ya! I'll teach 'im how to follow orders…Crook is da only one who.." I guess it is possible for him to be more pissed off.

I couldn't stand this. Stopping him from walking anymore, I put my hand on his chest and exclaimed, "You will do no such thing Spot Conlon! And quit ignoring me! I am not a child I have a right to know what is going on especially if it deals with my family!" There goes my excitement. I am just plain mad now. "Just because I am a girl does not mean I have to be hidden from whatever the hell is happening!"

"Quit ya yelling people are startin to stare. I already told ya Paige. Harlems recruiting. Dey wanna be powerful and think dey are tough, tryna beat up me boys. That's it." Turning back to Manhattan we started walking again. I didn't want to walk any further. Maybe I should tell him?

"I don't like liars." There, have a taste of your own medicine, you jerk.

"I ain't lyin! Now knock it off or Ise takin ya back to Brooklyn, understood?" Spot basically screamed this at me with a glare that threatened me to say something else. I had to though! What if he was back and helping those boys? Well probably not I'm just being paranoid.

This still isn't fair though. I know that's not the whole truth. If someone was just beating up on his boys he would go and soak them himself, but this is different. He's being quiet about it. He's disappearing all day. Now usually that's not an issue I usually hang with Crook or Wolf depending whose there, but get this; they are with him too. It's something serious yet I'm alone with it again. _Lost._ I haven't felt like this since I was eight. I don't like this. I don't want this. Oh god I'm crying. _Tears_. No. No. No. Paige you cannot cry in front of him. Remember he said crying was for the weak?

"_C'mon Paige ya gotta hit harder than dat. A bum can even take ya. Now just don' bend ya wrist and when ya swing don' straighten ya elbow." 12 year old Paige was standing on the docks trying to mock what Spot has been teaching her, holding her arms up in a fighting position but practicing swinging the correct way. "Ok, good, now gimme ya best shot!" _

_Paige swung and hit Spot right in the jaw, not hard but enough for him to stumble a little. "Good! Dat wasn't bad, now remember what I said about blocking? Keep ya arms infront of ya face and duck. If ya too slow make sure ya one arm is out in front to take da blow insteada ya face."_

_Paige was a little scared, Spot hit hard but she knew she could handle it. She was of course raised in Brooklyn by him and Shark. Suddenly an arm swung and next thing she knew her arm hurt and she was on her butt. It really hurt and tears just came to her eyes. Maybe she couldn't fight maybe she didn't belong here. _

"_Paige ya ok? Ah, don't cry, ya can't cry in a fight! Cryin' is for da weak and yer Brooklyn and Brooklyn ain't weak. C'mon get up. We just gotta practice more, and if it helps after dis I'll make sure no one ever fights ya ok?"_

Yeah, I remember that clearly. I don't cry over stupid things anymore but I have gotten into a few fights. So why am I crying now? This is ridiculous. I want to see Mel right now.

"Spot let's just hurry up and go. We're going to miss the morning addition and I want to talk to Mel." Please don't see my tears. Please don't see my tears. Walking a little faster I tried getting ahead of him. Go figure the kid can walk faster than anyone and caught up to me.

"Alright. Are ya cryin? I wasn't dat harsh wit ya, was I?" He seemed generally confused. Staring at me with his eyebrows crunched together and this questioning look in his eyes. Good he doesn't need to know about my mental break down. His eyes are a pretty blue right now, why did I never notice this? Woah. Stop.

"No I'm not crying why would I be?" Yeah, Paige lie to the one person who can see through you. "C'mon Spot like I said we're gonna be late."

It took us about twenty minutes to get to the Manhattan Lodging House and I was pretty sure he didn't notice any more tears. He doesn't need to know why I'm paranoid because maybe it is just a bunch of boys trying to be powerful. I over react a lot and right now might be one of them. Mel will tell me all she knows and then I'll be sure. But I just can't shake this gut feeling, it's not right and never I have felt this alone and scared since he took me from my mother. _Lost._


End file.
